Are You Overweight to Keep Someone Else from Worrying?

The most common manifestation of psychological threat and its influence on weight control occurs in interpersonal or marital relationships. A friend or spouse who is too attractive can be very threatening if the other person in the relationship is insecure and afraid of competition.

One way to avoid the possible loss of a friend or spouse to a competitor is for the other person to be unattractive. And toward this end fat is admirably suited. A man with a fat wife does not have to worry nearly as much about her running off with the postman. This kind of insecurity is always communicated and the spouse or friend is likely to cooperate by fattening him- or herself up to allay the fears of the other.

None of this may be operating at the conscious level.

Changes in this kind of situation commonly cause problems. After all, the other person--who may not have a weight problem at all--has come to enjoy the sense of security that comes from the significant other being overweight and less attractive.

Threat is only one of many relational kinds of subconscious dysfunctions and should be definitively identified through ideomotor questioning before taking action on it.

Back to "Reasons Why People are Overweight."